Pure Smut.

Welcome to Smutterings Of A Raven.

We have had this idea that recovery and “healing roads” take us from A to B to C. From 1 to 2 to 3. From the ugly duckling into a pristine swan. Beginning to end. Start to finish. Start to stop. Rock-Bottom to Look-At-Me-Now. Sewer to mountain top. Some of us were born ravens, not swans. Smutterings are unpolished and non-linear. It is safe enough to say I am recording history. I do not speak for the entire transgender and gender diverse community. I am one voice—in a sea of millions.

I started this blog because truths will be frank with us. They don’t go away. They watch. Listen. Observe. Until you acknowledge them. I’ve been here before so when the energy speaks, “You need to put all this somewhere”, I’ve learned to listen. Otherwise, chaos ensues.

Smut? It is so much more fun.

This blog might be for you if you have ever thought about making, already started to make a intentional and deliberate walk, following some kind of root, treating your experiences and your wounds like rich bodies of water. At these water’s edge, you watch and wade as the depths of your life surface, and you return having discovered something sacred about the secret of magic.

Throughout these pages, here is my committment to you: Know that every time I hit “Publish” it means I’ve signed another contract with myself to stay soft, honest and slightly fragmented.

Words smutter around before breakthroughs.

Some of us have simply stopped discovering ourselves altogether. But, we can’t. We have to keep digging, uncovering and discovering. The raven is an archetype: a shadow-walker, a seeker of hidden discernment, a creature that isn't afraid of the dark, a messenger that bridges different, and unknown, worlds.

Lastly, during a time where transgender/gender diverse lives are being erased from government documents, I cannot think of something better I’d like to do than write it all down. And, honestly (always), I want my children to know.

I made them a promise before they were born: who I was when they met me would not be who I would stay. Maya Angelou told me that when I know better, I do better. And, Carl Jung, The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents.

This blog aims to dismantle the walls of your mind and dethaw the musculature of what recovery is.